How Could You
by loulou365
Summary: When you love a person, you are giving them the power to hurt you. rated for later chapters.alittle NejixIno in the process of being rewritten
1. Chapter 1

"I don't love him. I don't know that I ever have or ever will...but when I'm with him I can't seem to remember that" Ino said sliding down the wall in the women's bathroom.

"Your drunk Ino you don't mean that ."Sakura wiped away some of her eye shadow in the mirror.

"You of all people should know I am not lying" Ino pushed her self up and towards the door.

"Neji will probably go crazy if you ever break up with him." Sakura replied pushing the door open.

"It would be good for him. Maybe then he'll realize how madly in love Tenten is with him." Ino drug her feet with a pout on her full lips like a child who had been denied candy. "I wanna go home."

"I thought you wanted to dance till they kick you out" Sakura said doing a mocking dance like Ino had done when she begged Sakura to go out on the town.

Ino gave her a "come on really" look. Sakura just gave her a nod like an unspoken 'I'll tell Neji Naruto and Hinata. You just go wait outside.' Ino walked to the front entrance as Sakura shuffled across the dance floor to where the group was sitting.

The night was cold but she didn't mind ,the bar had been hot and she needed to cool down. The lights of the city faded the stars but you could still see some. They where so pretty, but she had to looked away. Those stars held to many memories to many untold secrets. Not just her's but everyone's, everyone had to have done something crazy under those bright stars and they where the only ones to see it.

"You cold Hun" she herd a deep voice come from behind her. She was unknowingly sliding her hands up and down her arms in an effort to keep warm.

"No I'm fine Neji"

"Fine you can tell everyone that you put the jacket on cause it matches your dress." Neji said throwing his coat over her shoulders and tugging her under his arm.

"But it dosent match this dress." Ino said giggling like a school girl and rapping her arms around his wait she could just touch her fingers on the other side. His arm kept the jacket on her shoulders and the other was shoved in his pocket.

It was a short walk to their apartment. It was in close proximity to the hospital that Ino worked at two amazing clubs and one family sit-down restaurant. Ino bought the apartment about two and a half years ago and Neji moved in moved in 6 months ago. They had been going steady for about a year.

" Soooooo… you tired." Ino asked craning her head to look at him and spinning out from under his arm as the reached the top of the stairs and leaning against they're door.

"Would it matter" he replied with a husky laugh . He lifted her legs up to settle on his hips and set his hands under her butt supporting her and pushing her against the big oak door with promises of cloud nine sex on the other side

"You silly boy" Ino giggled in his ear.

Ino pulled the keys out of his jacket pocket and unlocked the door as Neji sucked on her neck and opened the door throwing her down on the small table next to the door and capturing her lips.

* * *

"Come in." Ino yelled closing the file she was looking at and putting it on top of a large stack of look-a-like manila folder. She leaned over the multiple stacks of scrolls folders and books on her desk to see who she just invited in. Her face lit up when she saw it was an old friend she was dying to see. She jumped from her set to hug her large team mate and whispered into his shirt "You smell bad."

"Why thank you Ino that is so sweet of you ." Choji replied letting her out of their bear hug.

"So what are you doing back early" Ino asked turning around and walking to the desk attempting to fix the mess.

"The mission was ahead of schedule about a day" he replied crossing his arms over his chest in a Gaara like manner.

"Then what did you do for the extra day" Ino finished her cleaning feeling Choji's uneasiness with the fact her full attention was not on him.

"Oh nothing just made a pit stop to pick up your surprise." Choji said tilting his head to the side and grinning at Ino.

"OOOOHHH" Ino put both of her hands out waiting for something to be put in them.

"It's not here , it's at the restaurant." Choji chuckled, it was an extremely soothing sound for Ino that noise had comforted her in all of her times of need and what she always looked forward to hearing when she saw him.

"Choji I don't have time for lunch .Big boss woman has me working on new brain surgery procedures and so I have tons of reading to do."Ino said looking back at her desk and all the papers. She so needed to clean . It was hard to get anything done with the mess not just because you couldn't find anything but because Ino couldn't work with out it being clean .If it wasn't clean when she worked she would end up cleaning instead . She took most of her work home for that reason. Between her and Neji the house was always clean.

"Come on Ino I just got home we have to go eat"

"Fine" Ino said after a long stair form Choji.

* * *

"We so ha…….."Ino stopped mid sentence and stared at the figure in the booth waiting for them her eyes widened . Her mind was whipped of all the thought that she was having. Then new thought flooded her mind. 'What is he doing here? This isn't a surprise ? How could Choji even think this was a good surprise? Why isn't he in Sanu? Who's taking his place there?'

"What kind of surprise is this?" Ino whispered not taking her eyes off the shadow mans figure. He had grown so much. All his features where much sharper , his shoulders where broad and toned underneath his vest, and Sanu had obviously not been a good place to have little strength , his muscles were visible his clothing his wardrob was sun bleached, his skin tan with many more scars than she remembered. But for the most post part he was still the old Shikamaru, he had grow but he still scratched his head when he was some what nervious,like now, he still had that look of boredom in his eyes, the almost frown on his face, and his pineapple hair due.

"Sorry am I not good enough?" Shikamaru asked knowing exactly why she said what she said.

Choji sat down in the booth across from Shikamaru and motioned for Ino to do the same.

"Why are you here?" Ino demanded.

"To see the elders" He he never went into details ,it bugged Ino .She couldn't stand that they had just sat down for a meal and if it was up to Shika the covesation would have ended with a hello.

"And why are you here to see the elders? Suna stuff?" She said a little irritated.

"No personal." he said with a dull tone in his voice.

"What's so personal that you have to talk to the elders?" Ino questioned.

"I'm getting married." At Shikumaru's words Ino's eyes widened , her fingers twisted with each other turning them white, she felt a knot grow in her stomach and worst of all she felt her heart break, there was no other way to describe it felt as if the vital organs in her body had just been ripped in two. All she could do was nod in acknowledgement and then look to the table his voice on replay in her head. A small voice broke her trance.

"Are you guys ready to order." Ino's head lifted and looked at the girl.

"I should really get back to work." Ino said rising from the booth.


	2. Chapter 2

The look on her face told Sakura that talking was not needed at the time just a hug. She held Ino on her feet so she wouldn't fall over.

"I think you need to go home Ino. You've been in that room with no sunshine and piles and piles of books for days." Sakura led her out of the waiting room to the employee locker room where she set Ino on a bench that lie in between the lockers and sat next to her.

"He's marrying her," Ino said starring at the lockers in front of her. "That stupid Suna bitch ,he's running away from his village and marrying some stupid lizard."

Sakura didn't know what to say. When it came to Ino it was like a minefield , you take on wrong step and your blown to pieces. She just sat in the silence and started at the blonde hoping she would talk instead, and she did.

"I think it would be best if I took the rest of the day off my head is not in the right spot to work."

Sakura nodded "I'll tell Shizune."

* * *

"You can't hide in there forever Ino!" Choji yelled. He was leaning against the door leading to Ino's apartment. Choji had been their for twenty minutes pleading for her to let him in. He wasn't really sure what to say to her but he knew he should be there so she didn't do anything stupid. I mean earlier that day she had just found out that a man she had denied loving after he broke her heart once was getting married.

Ino opened the door all the way gave Choji a look of almost disappointment a look that he could only interrupt as "Why would you let him go off like that and marry her". She slide away from the door not even inviting him in. He stepped in anyway. Ino motions absent mindedly to a chair in the corner of the room and plopped herself on the coach. She lay on her side stating at Choji waiting for him to speak , but he didn't, he just started at her with a look of pity on his face.

" He still loves you just not the way you want him to"

"I don't love him that way anymore I'm just sad cause he left and didn't even write or anything and now I find out my friend from when I was basically 2 is getting married. It is a lot to take in don't you think.?"

"What ever you say Ino. That's not what the rest of the village thinks." Choji said leaning forward and resting his hands under his chin.

"No they do not Neji doesn't think that." she said standing up in anger so she towered would over him."Oh shit Neji."

Ino ran for the door swinging it open and then was herd rushing down the stairs.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late I just lost track of time you know me."Ino said as Neji got up to hug her.

Neji looked her in the eyes as she tipped her head back so she could attempt to look at him. They stayed in the hug for a he cocked his head sideways to see in a confused look. " Why were you late Ino?" He asked with the puppy dog look he always gave when he knew she wasn't telling him something.

"I told you .I lost track of time." She said looking at his chest.

"Ino I know when your lying." Neji said tilting her chin so she would look at him.

"He's back." Neji said letting her chin go and sitting down leaving her standing looking flustered.

"How did you know."

"Ino come on I'm the head of the ANBU I know about everything that happens in this village and the village surrounding us." He said in a tone that provoked a feeling of anger in Ino.

"Yea." she sat down across from him.

"So how was the mission?" Ino asked.

* * *

FLASHBACK

" So can we train tomorrow I am really out of shape." Ino said grabbing for Shikamaru's arm.

"Sorry Ino but I have stuff to do tomorrow." He said turning to her.

"Oh yea I forgot tomorrows is sit on you ass and be lazy day." Ino crossed her arm and turned in her chair and stared at him.

"Yep. Well I better get going I'm starting early this year." He rush out of the ramen shop leaving Ino sitting with a sad look on her face.

"You shouldn't have even thought of asking if he would take his day off to train." Ino herd a voice next to her.

"One of these times I know he'll say yes with no arguing. I can just feel in my bones." Ino joked and turned to the brown haired man sitting next to her. He ordered a bowl of ramen and turned back to Ino."If you really need to train I'm free tomorrow."

"Really Neji."

"Mhm"

"That would be great. But you have to promise not to make fun of me I've been off of missions for a while."

"Oh"Neji said he had herd about what had been happening to team 10.

"I'll stop by your house at seven tomorrow okay?" Neji said taking his ramen from the waiter.

END FLASHBACK


	3. Chapter 3

Thud! Ino hit the ground hard the punch Sakura had thrown had been infused with chakra, one of her specials. She recovered fast running at Sakura at full speed pulling her fist back for a punch. Sakura saw this and got in a stance so it would be easier to duck . Ino saw this and kick Sakura in the side sending her to the ground she hopped back up and threw a chakra infused punch for Ino's face. Ino bent back avoiding the fist then cart welled back. This time Sakura came running and Ino jumped out of her way landing behind her she threw a punch at her back sending her into the nearest tree. Sakura slide down the tree and sat on the ground

"Sorry a little to much power in that one." Ino said running to Sakura's side.

"Nothing a little ice can't fix." Sakura said rubbing her back.

Ino lowered herself to the ground and sat next to Sakura looking up threw the canopy at the sky above ' perfect day to watch clouds' she thought to herself.

"Watcha thinking Ino?"

"Oh, nothing just stuff. It's been a long week it's nice to just not think." Ino turned her head to the girl and gave her an almost sad look. The life and animation had been drawn from her face her emotions had faded and she was left with a generally tame sad person.

"Ino come on You can't be like this forever." Sakura said standing up" It's been I week since he's been back and your acting like someone died."

"Some one did die Sakura, the Shika I used to know. The one that didn't go off and marry someone and leave his village the one who dreamed of just settling down in Konaho in that house with the big back yard and porch all the way around. The one who never had time for women. The one who talked to me." Ino yelled back she was on her feet now she felt a lump grow in the back of her throat as she held back tears.

" Ino come on he is the same Shikamaru and if you let him you guys would talk. Ino dreams change and people change sometimes it's for the better." Sakura said in a pleading voice.

"No no no that's not how its supposed to be." Ino said sitting back down and barring her face in her hands.

Sakura stepped forward and knelt the girl she used to look up to that was now falling apart and could only hold her shoulders.

"You can just go I think I would just rather be with my thoughts." Ino said shrugging her hands off.

Sakura did as told and stood she stayed for awhile staring and her then stepped back and jumped into the trees.

* * *

Danger! Ino's mind screamed as she sensed a soul in close proximity. She lifted her head from her hands and jumped to her feet surveying her surroundings.' There. I got you'. She thought as she threw three kunai in the direction of what ever was watching her. Then herd it shuffle in the bushes and the person she was hoping the least to see stepped out.

"How did you do that I had my chakra under perfect control?" The dark eyed man asked stepping towards her and she stepped back.

"Soul Search. Instead of searching for chakra you search for someone's soul essence." Ino said with a tightness in her gut and a confused look on her face. Why was he hear? Why was he all the way out in the woods sitting in a bush?

"Your father has taught you a lot."

"No that was actually mine." She said a small smile crawled up the left side of her mouth. "I taught myself a lot after you left." Ino pushed the hair out of her face so she could look him directly in the eyes.

Shikamaru turned his back to her and shoved his hands in his pocket. "Yea I've herd."

"What have you herd?" her brow furrowed . What did people have to say about her?

"That I'm not the only one that has found a life partner." He said he pushed his hands further and further into his pockets until Ino was sure he might rip right threw.

"Oh really and who might this "life partner "be?" Ino said poking fun at what he had said. 'Life partner really Shika are we a hundred and twenty' she thought to herself.

"Hyuga."

Ino fell to the ground laughing she was grabbing at the ground to try and catch her breath when Shikamaru came to her side. Staring down at her he realized she wasn't hurt in any way.

"Tha……tha..that's good. How… could… yo…you…believe that." Ino gained her self control and rolled onto her back staring up at him smiling." We aren't engaged. Who even said that. We have been going strong for awhile I mean some of the villagers might think…. Well we aren't."

"Well I've just herd stories about how happy you two are and when I saw you, you guys just looked right together."

"When did you see us?"

"The day I came back you were at the ramen shop. You came in in a hurry. I figured I had done enough damage for the day so I just left." He said scratching the back of his head.

He did that every time and didn't even know it. Every time he came around she seemed to forget how badly he hurt her and she would act like a giddy school girl . It was how it always was. She could hold a grudge for longer than she lived with anyone but him. It was like he set her brain on a different mode. But it was only a temporary high after they would part the feelings of anger and sadness would return and she would hate herself even more for making him think she forgave him.

Ino turned her head to the side the high was gone and the feeling of happiness left her. How could one lazy human being have some much control over her. She lay there on the ground and hoped with all her heart she would just disappear she wouldn't have to deal with the look he gave her when the smile slid off her face. She didn't know what the conversation that followed would be about but she knew she didn't want to be there to listen to it.

"Ino?" Shikamaru said kneeling next to her as she laid on her back staring up at him. She nodded to let him know he had her full attention. "Sakura was right. Some things change for the better."

She couldn't look at him she would let him lecture her on things she already knew just choose not to accept. She turned her body completely away from him not letting him see the look on her face of a girl who had never really gotten over his rejection a girl completely hurt. She had everything anyone could want, the perfect boyfriend, a best friend, two wonderful parents, a good job, the respect of her village, and everything else , but it wasn't good enough for her. She didn't want to look selfish and stupid so she denied her feelings for him. Pushing them to the back of her mind every time they cropped up and it work….for awhile.


	4. Chapter 4

flashback 3 YEARS EARLYIER(3 WEEKS AFTER ASUMA'S DEATH)

"You can't stay in bed the rest of your life Ino." Shikamaru said sitting on a chair next to her bed. She lie on her bed facing the wall her back to him.

"Well that was the plan." She said a slight sound of sarcasm in her voice.

"Some say the hardest thing is holding on to those you have lost, but some times it's letting go." Shikamaru said looking at his hands that where now in a tangled ball.

" I just thought I could save him. He had saved me so many times and I couldn't save him just once."

"Ino no one could have saved Asuma." he said setting his hand one her shoulder. She tensed at his touch.

"It was because I was to weak. I wasn't strong enough to fight the Akatsuki." Ino said she turned in the bed to face him and sat up. Shikamaru could see how hurt she was. She had looked like she had been crying for days.

"I can't let him go!" she almost scream sloding out of her bed side stepping him on the chair and pacing behind him.

"You can't or you won't?" Shikea stood and took a step towards her but she backed away knocking into her wall.

"Ino just let it go he's dead and your crying won't bring him back" He took another step towards her tears flowed freely down her face now. It was almost as if he could feel her pain. He didn't like when she was sad he would always seek out what ever it was that caused her pain and tried his best to destroy it , but how could he destroy something with in her. How could he take way what she was feeling. He want her to be happy life was so much easier when she was happy. She never really realized it but she was the only thing he worked for.

"No stop stop it no!!!!!" Ino screamed she turned her head from side to side as if she was trying to avoid what he was saying and shake off what ever feelings she felt.

Then she stopped he stepped one foot closer to her. Their faces where about a foot apart and she looking into his eyes. Her father was right the eyes are the window to your soul and Ino could see how much she was hurting him. The tears poured like rain down her cheeks. She didn't want to do this to him she didn't want him to be angry because of her, but how could he be telling her to let go of Asuma. No matter how badly holding on to him would hurt her letting go had to hurt worse.

She feel against him and buried her face in his shirt." I'm so sorry Shika. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. "

"For what?"

"For everything I'm just sorry."

* * *

A WEEK LATER

"I insist you come in for something to eat. It is the least I can do after you've helped me today. I mean Tusanda was on my back because I have gotten lazy in my kunai throwing." Ino said opening her door and ushering him in.

"Mom…Dad?" Ino waited but there was no reply" I guess their gone."

Ino walked to the kitchen he followed. There was a small table in one of the corners with two chairs. He sat in one and watched Ino shuffle around the kitchen pulling things from the fridge and cabinets." I'll make some ramen" She said filling a pot with water.

"Kay." He glanced out of the window over the streets of Konaho . The Yamanakas lived in the apartment above the flower shop it had original been three apartments but they remodeled it to make one large apartment. He had been in it enough times he could walk threw it blind folded.

They had grown up together with their fathers' being so close .He could remember all the good times they had. Normally they would go to the Naras' house because it was much bigger and there were more things to do but on occasion he would be at the apartment. He would always help her with academy assignments .He would go over and then listen to her talk about something or other, he would sit and partially listen and then attempt to help. Then they got older and he would go over just to talk. She had grown out of her loud annoying self and they could have a conversation that didn't revolve around her. No body really knew it but she was a bright young woman and knew a lot about life then anyone gave her credit for.

"Done" He broke from his trance and saw a bowl set in front of him.

"You were better then I thought you would be." Shikamaru picked up the chop sticks she had placed next to the bowl.

"Well you know two days ago you couldn't help me?"he nodded and she went on" Well Neji offered to help me."

"Okay." He just stared at his ramen his teeth clenched and he couldn't interpret his feelings. Why would he be angry it was just Neji. Why shoud he even care he should be happy he didn't have to train with her.

They finished their dinner. The conversation was bland, missions, the weather, relatives, Ino gave a couple of anecdotes on funny things that had gone on that week. But nothing really deep like they usually talked about. This visit left them looking at the clock rather then losing track of time.

"Well have a good night." Ino said as she leaned against the wall watching Shikamaru slide his shoes on.

He stood up and they look at each other for awhile neither knowing what was going to happen next it was a moment where time stood still and they just floated staring. Then in made a move towards him and he body took over rapping her hands around his neck and kissing him. For a moment he did not respond and then he set his hands on her lower back pulling her closer and deepening their kiss. And then as if a switch had turned on he pushed her away from him.

"No we shouldn't. I'm sorry Ino we can't ." his eyes were wide and he almost ran into the door. He opened it and quickly closed it leaving Ino standing staring at the wall in front of her.

end flashback


	5. Chapter 5

"Yea" Ino just laid there she didn't move .Her mind went a mile a minute trying to think of ways to get out of this with out looking stupid.

"I'm not leaving the village. I think you know me better than to leave the village."He stared at her bareback she was wearing a light purple tank top with black shorts that were tight on her toned butt. He could see the curve of her spine threw the shirt. It had an open back which allowed him to admire the curves of her shoulder blades and the tan pigments in her skin brought out by the light color of the shirt.

"That's the thing I don't know you anymore." she turned over to look at him and sat up. It looked like he hadn't been to sleep for days. Ino had herd that he was discussing the plans for his marriage with the elders. He must have had some really late talks with them.

"Ino you do know me I'm still Shikamaru. Yes I have gotten old. Yes I have change but it was all for the better. I learned a lot in Suna but I didn't forget my village and I never ever forgot you." He looked at her he wanted to tell her so badly that he was indeed in love with her but it would ruin everything. She was with Neji and they had a good life together. He wasn't good enough for her. He had broken her heart once and he didn't know if he could fix it. He didn't ever want to be the cause of her pain.

"The Shika I knew wouldn't have left in the first place. You wouldn't have left me. You didn't miss me because your marrying that lizard she was all you could think of in that wasteland." She looked away from him.

"I can't do this." and with that he was gone. She watched him .He just got up and left he didn't look back not once.

* * *

He couldn't look back. He didn't want to see the expression he left on her face. If he would have stuck around things would have gotten words. Time was to supposed to heal things not make them worse.

"Hey Shikamaru there's something waiting for you in the Hokage's office." He herd the guards yell down to him as he reached the gates.

"Great more walking." He had been walking all day trying to find out where Ino was. He thought now that a week had passed since he first got back he could try and work things out with her. Why did he care so much she would never look at him the same way after that day. The day he broke her heart in two and left. He had left her to her self to try and pick up the pieces. He was a bad person at least he felt like one.

"Shikamaru are you def?" He felt a hand grab him and turn him around. It was the knuckle head blonde. Boy this is just what he needed now.

"Where you headed?"

"The Hokage's office." Shikamaru turned and continued walking the blonde followed like a dog.

"Oh Grandma can wait. We should get something to eat. We really need to catch up." Naruto said putting his hand on Shikamaru's shoulder. Shikamaru stoped and looked at Naruto weighing the options. Naruto was right that women never did anything amazing for him . She could wait and he really couldn't wait for dinner.

"Ok then your treat." Shikamaru said giving the boy a smile.

"Just this once Nara."

When they got to the ramen shop it was some what packed so they took a booth in the very back. They sat and Naruto stared for a while. "You haven't changed at all. Have you?"

Wow this kid was really clueless. That was the very opposite of what everyone was telling Shikamaru. Since the day he got back everyone had told him how much he changed , how much he'd grown, how much older he looked and acted.

"Neither have you knuckle head."

"Actually I have changed. I've changed a lot." He said raising his head high like he was about to give a very important speech." I am training under Grandma to become the next Hokage."

Shikamaru's eye brows raised. Naruto was accomplishing his dream. A new feeling of trust came with seeing this boys face now. He admired Naruto for getting so far but was astonished had actually done it.

"Yea I know but it's not all it's made out to be. I really just do paper work. I haven't got out on a mission in ages." he lowered his head to look at his fingers drawing figure eights on the table.

"How about you what have you accomplished over these three long years?"

What could he say. Over the past three years he had been an ambassador for Konoha in Suna. It wasn't his life dream. He didn't really have the regular life dream. He wanted to be an average ninja, have an average looking ,quiet, collected wife, pop out two kids one boy and one girl, and then die of old age with his average wife. Over the three years he had only accomplished was getting a wife. But most peoples dreams were not average they were outlandish almost childish. Shikamaru didn't aim high because he didn't want to work for above average. The only thing that was above average in his life was Ino, he always seemed to work hard for her, and he had a terrible feeling he had lost her.

"Well………. Nothing really." he said the dull tone in his voice that he had never grown out of.

"Boy would I like to have your job." Naruto said giving Shikamaru a big smile that reached across his hole face.

"Well I have done things , but nothing really worth talking about. I went to Suna and managed their strategies kept the peace between countries, I mean it was mostly paper work and when it wasn't paper work it was missions and when it wasn't missions it was ambassador dinner parties." he said keeping the dull tone going.

"And you had time to find a wife in all that?" Naruto cocked his head to the side looking at the man across from him.

"Well I guess."

"Did you miss her." he watched look confused look on Shikamaru's face fade as he realized who Naruto was talking about. Naruto didn't know much about what had happened between Ino and Shikamaru but he knew the extent of the damage Shikamaru had cause. He had been on a mission with Ino and had asked her the same question he had just asked Shikamaru and she had answered" I do. I just miss him, you know? I'm not used to being without him. But I wanted him to think I was" and the look on her face was one of complete hurt. It hurt her to think of him, it hurt her to hear about him, it her to talk about him and it all showed on her face.

"Yea" Shikamaru couldn't look at him he didn't know what expression Naruto was going to have but he didn't want to find out.

"She missed you ….. You do know that?"

"Yea."

After a couple minutes of silence and conversation stated back up like they had never talked about the touchy topic. They stayed awhile after they were done eating and talked. Naruto had really grown and his life had taken and unexpected turn for the better. He was a man now in Shikamaru's eyes. He still talked like a child be he suspected he would always talk with so much joy you could barely stand it and he would never stop being annoying. Now he was bare able. A man Shikamaru would be proud to have representing his village.

* * *

"Hey Shika there's someone here to see you." Choji greeted the him at the door opening it even before he had a chance to turn the handle.

Shikamaru had stayed at his parents for the first three days and then decided if he really wanted to soak up this short vacation he would move somewhere his mother was not living.

Shikamaru stepped in to the apartment and was greeted with two familiar faces. One was sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table the other leaning against the wall opposite the door

"Temari Kankuro?" He said with his brows furrowed "Has something happened?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Ah…"Kankuro started but was cut off by Temari.

"No." Temari said and then quickly changed the subject "Why didn't you come to the Hokage's office we were waiting for an hour." she stared at Shikamaru with a frown on her face. Then shifted and slid towards him leaving her large fan leaning up against the wall.

"I was busy. Why are you hear?" He questioned when she finally got in front of him.

"Well I thought it would be nice to come and help you figure this all out and now I can meet your parents." Smiling she swept some dirt off his shoulder then clung to the edge of his vest.

"Oh okay." He said looking away from her to where Kankuro was sitting. "Why are you here then."

"Well I didn't want her to get hurt or anything you know." He said standing up" She is my sister."

"Mhm." He mumbled not taking his eyes off Kankuro. He couldn't look into Tamari's eyes. He knew well enough that she couldn't read him as well as Ino, but she wouldn't need to he would blurt out the feelings he was having for Ino if he looked at the woman he was engaged to. The situation he was in was so messed up. It hurt to know the one thing he wanted most was the one thing he couldn't have. Desire left tired and wore him out. The desire he had for Ino was wrecking his life.

* * *

"So we will have a meeting next week with the elders to get everything squared away and then you two can go back to Suna." Tsunade rose from her desk a weary look on her face. She looked from Shikamaru to Temari. They both stood and bowed and as they got to the door Tsunade called back "Oh and Shikamaru I was wondering if you could do me a big favor."

He just started at her and stepped back into the room letting Temari walk out of the door by herself it was a rhetorical question. Would she really accept no?

"A mission." She said throwing him a folder with paperwork in it" S-rank, assassination, on the out skirts of fire nation, you leave tomorrow morning." Shikamaru nodded and left.

Temari stood half way down the hall waiting. As he reached her she spook a pleasant tone to her voice "What did she want."

"A mission. I leave tomorrow morning." He replied walking ahead not looking her in the eyes.

"Oh that's to bad I wanted to meet your parents tomorrow."

"We can do it when I get back I guess." He said slipping his hands in his pockets. The conversation dropped and they just walked for awhile.

The town came to life during this time of day just as the sun began to set. Children ran past on the streets. Shops outdoor lights turned on people bustled threw the streets each with their own thoughts and problems.

"You feel distant Shikamaru." Temari finally said turning her head to look at him her had slightly twitched as if to touch him and then it fell to her side.

"It's been a long week." he said with a dull tone. He didn't want to talk about his feelings and why he was distant .Shikamaru didn't know what he wanted to do. He couldn't go to Ino with his fiancé in town. He couldn't talk to Temari she was part of this mess. Choji would just tell him to ride it out and be a man. His father didn't even know anything about Temari except that his son was engaged to her. He didn't have anyone to go to.

Temari did not reply. She wasn't the type to hover on a subject that Shikamaru was trying ,so obviously, to avoid. Ino was the exact opposite she liked everything out in the open. It annoyed him when she pushed him until he caved and told her what was bothering him but some how it helped him. He would tell her and she would have some clever plan to solve it. Ino was extremely strategic, just not in the way that helps you become a better Jonin. It was a good feeling knowing there was someone out there who knew exactly what was going on in his life, someone who knew exactly what he was feeling. Shikamaru lost that feeling after he left Konoha.

They walked in silence for a while. It was an indescribable silence .It felt award and weird as if they were both hidings something from the other. The feeling of betrayal and hurt radiated off both of them. A look of almost pain on both of their faces.

"Hungry?" Temari asked pointing to the shop up ahead. When Shikamaru didn't answer she turned into the shop and let Shikamaru follow. "I am."

Temari found them a table and sat exhaling deeply. Shikamaru sat across from her with the folder still clutched tight in his hand. He opened it peering at the content within. Just as Tsunade had said an S-rank, assassination, on the out skirts of fire nation, and the group would leave tomorrow morning but, what she had failed to mention was who his team consisted of. Tenten, Neji, and INO. His eyes widened but Temari did not notice she was to busy playing with the straw in the water the waitress had left at the table.

Don't worry Shikamaru you can keep it together. Ino won't talk to you. You'll just try your best to make this mission go smooth. Come on Shikamaru this is an S-rank mission people can die you need to think clear.

"Shikamaru." Temari growled kicking him under the table

"What would you like sir" the waitress repeated.

"Oh I'm fine with water." He said looking up.

Temari ate her dinner and Shikamaru read his paperwork in silence and the conversation on the way home was just as up beat. Shikamaru didn't know what he was in with Temari. He wasn't in love, he wasn't in lust, he had thought he loved her. Did he really know what love was. Conversation used to be great with Temari she was bright, she always spook her mind and she was always right about everything. She was a beautiful woman and he had had a connection with her that he had thought was love. Maybe the connection he had with Ino was much more close and intense almost intimate maybe it out shined Temari's connection with him.

* * *

That night Shikamaru read everything in the folder front to back. He couldn't have any one hurt on this mission. He couldn't fail. He wouldn't let his village down and he would try his best to keep his state of mind from ruining this mission.

He read the paper headed Yamanaka ,Ino over and over. It had a picture of her paper clipped in the right hand corner she had a smile that went from ear to ear on her face, it listed the ninjutsu she had acquired over the years, her medical nin certification, and the success and failure of her missions. He read it until his eyes started to blur the text. She had become an amazing Jonin. The success of her missions were high and he was curious to see some of the new ninjutsu she had learned.

It was getting late and he would need a good rest for tomorrow. He lifted from the dining room chair stretching and rubbing his eyes. Shikamaru shut the folder leaving it on the table and shuffled to the light switch turning it off and heading to the living room. When her reached the fold out coach where Temari was sleeping he stood staring down at her. Her features were much softer when she slept. She made a small whistling sound as she took slow steady breaths.

Should he tell Temari or should he keep lying to her. All of his life he had been told lying was bad but right now lying seemed necessary. He didn't like lying to Temari but maybe keeping her in the dark was the best for both of them. Shikamaru wanted Ino but maybe Temari was what was best for him. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be happy .Maybe he was supposed to except what he had for what it was. He should be thankful for what he had and admire the struggle it had taken to get it. But he didn't want to settle. Shikamaru didn't want to give up on Ino but, he also didn't want to hurt Temari. He always hoped the best for her.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Hey Shikamaru." Shikamaru felt a hand shove at his shoulder in an attempt to wake him._

"_Five more minutes Choji."_

"_No you said '4:30 and no later'." Choji pushed at him again trying not to wake Temari who was lying asleep on the opposite side of the fold out coach._

"_Fine fine I'm up." Shikamaru pushed the covers back and grabbed for the shirt he a had thrown to the floor last night in an effort to cool off._

_By 4:55 Shikamaru had changed and packed his weapons and the missions details. He was out the door by 5:00 leaving Temari asleep on the coach and Kankuro on the arm chair where he would most likely snooze the day away._

_The streets of Konoha were quiet only the sound of machines being run could be herd in the silence. There was a fog that swept low over the town. It only allowed Shikamaru to see about 20 yards in front of him. He walked alone heading for the gates where he spotted a woman waiting with a dark green cloak over her shoulders._

"_Tenten .Where are the other?" Shikamaru said when he reached her. _

"_Ino and Neji probably lost track of time" she said with a slight hint of anger in her voice._

"_Oh." Shikamaru turned as he herd foot steps coming closer._

"_I just couldn't bring myself to tell him the statistics." was what Ino ended her conversation with Neji with. She looked from Tenten to Shikamaru_

"_Your late." Tenten said staring at Ino and Neji._

"_Tsunade said that she wanted us to leave at 5:45 and it's 5:30 right now." Neji retorted not taking his eyes off Tenten throwing a green cloak at Shikamaru. "They're new. We all have one."_

_Shikamaru looked at the cloak. A peace offering? No, Not from Neji. Then he looked at them all with their green cloaks and their battle cloths underneath. Shikamaru threw the cloak over his shoulders making the fog around him swirl. _

"_We will run as one large group. Tenten you will lead. You have the best chance at dodging and exterminating any attacker. Neji you will follow. You can scout ahead of Tenten and worn her of any danger. I will be next. I will be able to capture any attackers Neji and Tenten haven't taken care of with my shadow jutsu. Then Ino, you will be last .You are our medical nin so if anyone is injured you can attend to them and you will be the least likely to end up fighting." Shikamaru looked at all of their wary faces, assassinations were never something to be happy about, and said" Are we all ready?"_

_They all gave a nod._

"_Then Tenten lead the way." Tenten stepped out side of the gates and jumped into the trees, the others followed._

_Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back. Shikamaru repeated over and over to himself. He didn't look back the whole way except to signal their stopping. _

_The group ran two days strait with short breaks in between towns. Each time they would stop for water and a small meal. They had to keep low key so they would be in and out with in minutes. They would take their meals to the outskirts of the town sit and quickly eat. Conversation was dull , most was of the weather and plans for the mission. The whole time Shikamaru sensed anger in Ino's voice, hatred dripped off her words. What was Ino so wound up about. She shouldn't be mad that he left her in the woods. She was the one who had made a personal attack on him and his decisions._

_

* * *

_

"_We will camp tonight." Shikamaru said taking the cloak and backpack off of his shoulders and mindlessly throwing them to the ground. Ino slumped up against a tree and with in a minute Neji was at her side handing her his water bottle. Tenten stood at the top of a tree scouting the land over, she turned her head to listen to Shikamaru continue." We are about two miles from Hinotenshi. Our target ,Taro ,lies within the gates. Tomorrow night we will be waiting out side of Southern walls. When the time is right we will climb the walls and split into two groups. Neji and Tenten you will head to the Minto Inn, that is where our target is staying. Ino and I can scout out the main hall where our target is attending a party. He will most likely be followed by three body guards."_

"_Do we know their rank" Neji cut in throwing a bag to Ino who opened it dumping different pieces of a tent to the ground and sitting down putting the pieces together._

"_They are assumed to be of high rank. We all know why this man is being assassinated." They all lowered their heads. Taro was a spy for the Sound Village .He knew all about Konoha. Taro had snuck into Konoha and had been right under their noses for one year then snuck out killing twenty villagers and one of Konoha's finest. He was now returning to the Sound to report on Konoha._

"_After the target arrives at the inn and has fallen asleep we will attack."_

"_Shikamaru I think this mission would be better played if it was seduction. I could find Taro at this party. We could leave for the inn his body guards following faithfully knowing nothing and in his room I could finish the job. If anything goes wrong you three could wait in close proximity."_

"_Ino is right it would be best to keep it on the down low. "Neji said prop the tent._

"_It is the best way to get close to the target without being discovered." Tenten agreed as Ino smile liking the fact she had people backing her up._

"_Ah" Shikamaru realized this was a very good plan but it would put Ino on the front line, in extreme danger._

"_Shikamaru I am head of seduction and assassination back in Konoha." The fact that he ever doubt her abilities mad Ino angry. _

_Shikamaru pushed two fingers to his temples then nodded." That is what we will do then. We will need sleep before so I will be first to be on look out ."_

_There was no argue. Ino and Neji slipped inside the tent._

"_It really is pathetic that she has you under her spell too." Tenten said before she knelt and entered the tent._

_This left Shikamaru to sit alone and think._

_Wow Tenten really has something against Ino. What did she mean by that .Neji didn't look like he was under any spell. Of course he looked dazed every time Ino slid her hand up his arm and looked up at him with those big sky blue eyes, but it seemed Neji wore the pants in their relationship. Ino was bossy but when it came to a man in her life Shikamaru was seeing that she put down her pride and let this man dominate. It must have taken Neji a long time get Ino's respect and break her of her dominating personality. _

_Temari never let Shikamaru dominate. They were always equals or she was the dominant. She was much to stubborn to let a man take her hand and show her the way, even when she needed it most._


	8. Chapter 8

"I'll take it from here." Tenten said climbing from the tent and stretching.

Shikamaru just turned his head and stared at her in the darkness. He stood on one of the lower branches in the trees that surrounded the tent which was covered I in leaves and twigs to hide it from any passer-bys.

"Any reason you don't like her?" Shikamaru asked turning his body towards Tenten.

"I don't know what your talking about." Tenten focused her eyes on a small spot on the ground avoiding Shikamaru's eyes." You need sleep."

Shikamaru sat and stared. Then hopped down and headed for the tent "Well if you don't want to talk about it."

"She took him from me. Now that he's hers she's taking him for granted." Tenten said turning. "He was mine and she just took him…….and there is nothing I can do about it. That's all I just don't like her Shikamaru and can you blame me."

"I'm sorry. "Shikamaru couldn't look Tenten in the eyes now.

"For what ? Asking? You have a right to know. You left this big mess in Konoha."

He could only stare at the large tree next to him hoping she didn't think he was irresponsible or an ass hole. "How can you put up with it… you know seeing her with him?" Shikamaru asked.

"I'm a ninja so I deal. I smile when I feel like crying , I act as if I'm okay when I'm falling apart in side and I move on. I just move on because there isn't anything I can do about it. He choose her and I have to except it." She looked at him with pity knowing he was going threw something similar to her problem.

"Yea?" Shikamaru lifted his head from where he was staring at the dirt.

"Yea it's hard. You'd think time would heal it all but time just makes it worse. Time gives you hope. Hope that someday you might have something again but, every day you're disappointed to see nothing has changed."

"You still love him though? Don't you?" Shikamaru asked the look of a child on his face.

It was hard for Tenten to answer him she saw the hope in his eyes. The hope that was in her eyes .Maybe her hope wasn't as bright but it was still there. He had complete and utter faith he would end up with Ino weather he admitted it or not. Weather he even knew it or not. She wanted to tell him to cling to that hope, but it was ruining her life and it looked like it was ruining his.

"Yes" Tenten said her voice cracking." Yes I do still love him."

Shikamaru left her to her thoughts just as she had done to him. He pushed into the tent. He didn't look at Ino and Neji cuddled up in the corner of the tent just thinking about it made him sick. He just dropped to the ground. Shikamaru lay on his side facing the wall of the tent and let his thoughts lull him in to a deep sleep.

But what Shikamaru didn't see when he walked into the tent avoiding the cozy couple was Ino's wide awake eyes and wide open ears. She didn't have the privilege of letting her thoughts take her to sleep. Ino's thoughts kept her up constantly asking herself questions.

On top of everything she had gone threw these past weeks a new conflict had to arrive.

Maybe Tenten is better for Neji. Am I really that blind to take him from her and not see her hurt? I knew she liked him but not this bad. I'm a terrible person to cause someone so much pain and not even realize it. I'm sorry Tenten. I'm so very very sorry. You may never realize how sorry but, I am.

A tear escaped Ino's eyes as she silently shook against Neji's chest trying to escape his hold. She felt suffocated with his large arms around her in an effort to protect her from any dangers in the night. It wasn't so much the weight of his arms that was suffocating it was what they symbolized. He had been by her side for so long always looking out for her always protecting her and he never straying. She did take his protection and comfort and even his love for granted. He had been there during some of the lowest times in her life. Ino never really noticed all the effort he put into making her happy. Neji would make a good husband but not for her. He needed someone who loved him with all their being, someone like Tenten.

* * *

FLASHBACK

"Ino" A low voice whispered in her ear. The words tickled her neck and sent shivers up and down her spin. Ino woke dazed and pushed her self into a sitting position in her bed.

"What are you doing here?" Ino rubbed her eyes now fully awake.

"I thought we could train today." Shikamaru said sitting down in the chair by Ino's desk.

"Oh okay." She said slightly confused. She slipped off the bed and scuffled to the her closet doors opening them .She took out an old white Academy t-shirt and a pair of green shorts. She signaled for him to turn so she could change. He did so and she slipped off her tank top.

"So are you going to act like nothing happened?" Ino asked clasping her bra together.

"What happened?" Shikamaru playing stupid trying to avoid this subject.

"Well, what happened last night."

"Nothing happened last night Ino." Shikamaru said. He turned to her as she slid the last of her clothing on.

"Yes something did happen last night Shikamaru and I think we should talk about it." Anger boiled in her blood.

"No Ino there's nothing to talk about."

"What do I repulse you Shikamaru. Are you ashamed of the kiss we shared? Because I'm not. I love you." Ino turned her head from him. In her anger she had used the three little words never to be spoken. She knew she loved him but she didn't want to say it like some stupid child. Love wasn't a word Ino threw around in her vocabulary and Shikamaru knew that. She kept her feelings inside out of fear that the he didn't care as much or not at all. She felt vulnerable and embarrassed now that she had confessed to him and he wasn't saying those words back.

Ino turned fully from Shikamaru. It was easier to be angry with him then to admit she was hurt by him. She had to much pride to show him he had enough power over her to make her cry. But he did have enough power and then some.

"I'm sorry Ino. I'm not sure….I don't think…. I just…….." Shikamaru stepping onto her windowsill then pushing him self out and disappearing.

It was the last day Ino saw Shikamaru before he left on his mission in Suna.

END FLASHBACK

* * *

Neji was the last to have a night shift and unfortunately Shikamaru was the first to wake. They didn't talk it was just death stares galore. Tenten pushed out of the tent stretching. When she realized Shikamaru and Neji were both staring it was a triangle of weird and awkward stares at one another.

Ino came out breaking their silence "What the…." she said trying to pull her foot out of the sleeping bag that had grabbed hold of her ankle. When she was finally free she stomped away threw the trees.

"Where are you going." Neji said with concern in his voice.

"God can I pea with out you holding my hand." Ino yelled not looking back.

Neji stood frozen a look of astonishment on his face. Shikamaru and Tenten exchanged looks of confusion.

Ino wasn't angry with Neji she wasn't angry with any one except herself. It was terrible to take it out on others but it was all she felt she could do. She couldn't talk to anyone. Neji was part of this whole mess. Her parents wouldn't under stand. Sakura would tell her to follow her heart but, Ino didn't know what her heart wanted. Her heart and her head never really worked well together.


	9. Chapter 9

Shikamaru signaled for Neji and Tenten to scale the walls. He watched as they used chakra to pull themselves to the top and then disappear over the edge.

"Ino are…." Shikamaru was about to ask her if she was sure she was ready. Ino hadn't been herself the whole mission more today then ever.

"Lets go." Ino said pushing past him and heading for the wall.

Shikamaru followed her. When they appeared on the other side they headed for the Inn.

* * *

"Well from what we've seen. One guard will stay in the room to the right and one to the left. The remaining one will be posted at the doors." Shikamaru explained to Tenten and Neji. They had all met at an old rundown warehouse on the outskirts of Hinotenshi.

"There is a back door to the party hall. It leads to the kitchen but it will get Ino in undetected. The security is tight so you will have to be sly." Tenten said jumping on top of an old, tipped-over desk.

"I'll slip into the party and by the end of the night I'll have him slightly drunk and taking me back to the inn. The whole time I can use a disguise jutsu so he doesn't recognize me. When we get back I will finish the job and lock his mind." Ino stood and went to the window pealing back some of the paper that had been plastered to it to peer outside. The sky was grey and threatened to poor its gloomy tears out and onto the earth.

"Most likely the guards will know with in minutes of the assassination that Taro is dead." Neji said.

"That is why we will be there to help Ino's leaving go as smooth as possible." Shikamaru said standing his arms crossed leaning against the far wall." If anything goes wrong and we get separated we will meet 10 miles up the steam we saw on the way here. I left our extra baggage there."

A tight knot formed in Shikamaru's stomach as he stared at Ino. He didn't want her to be on the front line. If anything would go wrong she would be the first to die.

* * *

A redhead with bright green eyes stepped into the hall. She had a black dress on that cut low in the back to revel a tattoo of black stars starting on her left shoulder and going down to her lower back. She glided over to the bar every step let you view her long legs threw the slit up the side of her dress. The bartender slide her a drink and she caught it between two slender fingers. She surveyed the room sipping from her martini glass and then she saw him.

'There he is' Ino thought to herself. Taro was one of those men that was thrilled by the chase. He wanted the one thing he couldn't have. The most dangerous woman in the room, the most powerful and one that wouldn't give it up easily. Ino liked a man who worked hard for what he had but not one as masochistic as Taro.

Ino could feel his chakra roll off of him as he walked towards the bar. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up straight and with her legs crossed she tighten her thighs closer together. He sat and she didn't look she just sipped from her glass.

"The whole room grew cold when you walked in. I wouldn't expect that from a red head." Taro said as he signaled for his body guards to give him space." Do you have a title."

"Rin head of the Shadow Assassins." Ino said turning her head towards him with an intimidating look.

"I would expect nothing less to show up at a get together of rogues. " Taro set his hand on her thigh and Ino choose to ignore it.

"Can I buy you a drink Rin."

"Not until I know your title." Ino said shaking her head and turning her legs so his hand slid off.

"I'm sorry but it is a secret." He said.

Taro had red eyes that contrasted with his shaggy grey hair. It was known that his clan sucked chakra out of their victims until they would drop dead . They did this to rejuvenated their chakra and without it they would grow weak. It was a weird trait but the gene had been passed down on the male side. Taro was one of the last in his clan. He murdered many for their chakra and was banished from his village.

Ino sat waiting for him to make another move. His chakra washed over Ino. He was trying to impress her. Goose bumps erupted along her arms and she bit at her lip turning a little in her set.

"Maybe we could continue this conversation at my hotel." He said slightly pushing Ino out of her seat.

She looked Taro in the eyes and did not answer letting him drag her to the door.

"I promise you we'll have fun." Taro whispered in Ino's ear as they walked down the street to the inn.

Ino shivered as the wind blew and a slight mist hit her bare arms. She had a bad feeling about this night and she made sure she was fully alert as she turned the corner to the inn. She could feel the three guards eyes on her .She felt them stare right threw her. Ino did a quick scan of the area to make sure her team's chakra was hidden.

Taro wasn't drunk when they stepped into his room as Ino had planned him to be but, she could make this work.

She was violently pushed to the bed when Taro was finished telling his guards something Ino could hear but could not decipher. He then continued to suck on her neck in an aggressive manner. He scratched at the material on her dress pulling skin from her back.

"Quit messing with me." Taro said pulling his hands out from behind her back and pushing off the bed. He stood by the small desk in the opposite corner of the room.

"I don't know what your talking about." Ino said a cool calm seductive sound to her voice.

"You know exactly what I am talking about." He rose his voice. Taro possessed a short temper and his blood ran hot. Then he hissed out something that made Ino's eyes widen and her muscles tighten "Yamanaka!"


	10. LETTER TO THE READER

Okay this message is addressing my very small fan base for this story . I am really unsatisfied with how this story is going so I am going to completely remodel it. I am in the process of rewriting it and I am even going to rename it. Therefore How Could You will be deleted when ever I upload the first chapter of the rewritten story. I hope no one is disappointed but I wrote this almost three years ago and I read over it recently . I was just astonished at how differently I wrote and I don't like my old writing style or some of the plot so I'm changing it. I would love for suggestions to how a chapter or a main idea or a character ,anything , can be clarified ,enhanced, or improved.

I would really love some suggestion. J


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